goodglrlwrath:

                         ^{never has she ever loved the sound of her name as much as she does right this second;  dripping from audrey’s tongue like liquid gold.  it’s the sweetest sound,  the sweetest SONG she’s ever heard.  it’s beautiful & new – wonderfully foreign & she wants to hear it over & over again until her name is the ONLY one she knows & can ever say;  forever lost in this moment,  unable to think of anything else because hell,  emma won’t be able to forget it;  it will ring in her ears & she’ll have to grasp at her desk or somehow hide away her reaction to the record on repeat inside her skull,  scratching.  god, emma.}

                         ^{one final peck is placed on the now damp patch of skin;  a sign of her love,  her admiration.     ‘ she took two sleeping pills,  we’re fine. ‘  thank god for narcotics..     ‘ yeah,  that sounds good. ‘     it physically hurts,  but she puts a significant amount of distance between them.  yes,  it’s only for a moment but after being so close it’s all she wants & now she just feels empty.     ‘ come on .. ‘  I NEED YOU CLOSE AGAIN;  hurry.  she doesn’t say that,  though.  instead she crawls in her bed,  cloth shorts far too big for her frame hanging messily,  her shirt flowy & unbuttoned;  barely covering her breasts but shamelessly exposing her abdomen.     ‘ c’mon .. ‘     her hand outstretches as she lies back,  scooting so she’s now lying properly;  head facing the headboard instead of just flopping down & hoping somehow they’ll both fit.  but she’s a good girl & will lie in her bed properly,  never mind what she’s wanting to do there, honey curls framing her face,  tickling flushed cheeks.}

_{SHE’S   NERVOUS,   of   course   she   is,   but   it’s   hard   —   impossible   even   —   to   hesitate   for   long   when   emma’s   voice   is   practically   begging   her   forward.   the   sight   of   the   girl   sprawled   out   in   bed,   shirt   riding   up   and   shorts   barely-clinging   to   her   waist   is   an   invite   that   makes   audrey’s   throat   run   dry   ;   she   has   to   swallow   hard   a   couple   of   times   before   she   nods   wordlessly,   moves   forward   to   join   her.   it’s   a   bed   they’ve   shared   plenty   of   times   before   (   sleepovers,   harmless   hang-out   sessions   before   nina   drove   a   wedge   between   them   )   —   but   now,   as   she   climbs   into   bed   to   join   emma,   it’s   for   an   entirely   different   purpose.   one   that   has   her   heart   pounding   with   anticipation   as   she   situates   herself   next   to   emma,   dangerously   close   but   she’s   never   felt   safer.}

_{‘   —   you’re   sure   about   this,   right?   ’   it’s   a   question   that’s   breathed   out   against   emma’s   lips,   and   she’s   already   asked   it   —   will   probably   ask   it   again   –   because   she’s   not   worried   about   herself,   she’s   instead   preoccupied   about   making   sure   emma’s   comfortable   ;   making   sure   this   is   something   she   really   wants   and   isn’t   just   doing   on   a   whim.   still,   she   explores,   her   hand   drifts   to   emma’s   waist   and   moves   lower,   grips   emma’s   thigh,   squeezes   gently   &   pulls   her   closer   as   her   hand   strokes   circles   into   the   warm,   exposed   skin,   almost   too-close   to   where   a   certain   heat   radiates   that   makes   it   too-hard   to   think   clearly.   ‘   because   we   can   stop   —   any   time   you   want,   ’   she   reminds   her,   hitched   breath   in-betwen   as   her   hand   trails   a   little   higher   and   she   leans   in,   kisses   emma   again   but   this   time   it’s   more   confident,   deep   &   passionate,   and   god   is   she   too-warm.}

goodglrlwrath:

                          ^{the kiss is warm,  like coming home;  distinct & oh so real.  this isn’t a dream,  there’s no fuzzy edges,  no blurry faces.  it’s crystal clear;  DANGEROUSLY intimate.  it has her whole form on fire;  set alight from her lips,  lips that collide perfectly with her own,  dancing;  moving tentatively,  then hungrily – eager for more;  ready for more.  she’s waited all this time,  dreamt of what it might feel like to kiss the girl she had been fantasizing about for all these years.}

                         ^{but through heavy lids,  she can see audrey pulling away  ( maybe this is a dream after all.  perhaps this is the point she wakes up,  clutching her sheets;  catching her breath. )     ‘ whaa ? ‘     freshly kissed lips part as she tries to gather her thoughts;  focus on what audrey is saying.     ‘ oh. ‘     an airy giggle pierces the silence accompanied with a smile.     ‘ i don’t need it. ‘     one hand palms audrey’s left cheek,  her lips finding solace on the other’s jawline where she places a single,  open mouthed kiss on pale skin;  tongue darting out for just the smallest taste.}

_{emma’s   close   and   suddenly   she’s   become   all   too   aware   of   just   how   warm   she   feels,   still   dressed   in   the   usual   skinny   jeans   &   hoodie   combination   she’d   arrived   at   the   girl’s   house   in.   she   doesn’t   have   too   much   time   to   think   about   it   before   emma’s   dismissing   the   bra   all   together   —   ‘   —   oh,   ‘   she   breathes   out   in   agreement,   echoeing   emma   in   a   way   except   her   own   voice   is   much   heavier   as   it   dawns   on   her   fully   just   what   emma   means.} 

_{‘    god,   emma   —   ‘   it’s   her   turn   for   a   quiet   gasp   to   escape   her,   fingers   curling   tighter   around   a   small   waist   when   lips   and   tongue   graze   her   jaw   //   head   tips   back   slightly   and   her   own   hands   reach   around   to   the   small   of   emma’s   back,   pulling   her   closer.   ‘   we   should   —   maybe   we   should   lay   down.   ‘   there’s   a   lazy   grin   on   her   lips   as   she   exhales   heavy,   fingers   trailing   the   skin   above   emma’s   waistband,   where   her   back   curves. ’   —   really   don’t   want   your   mom   to   wonder   what   we’re   doing   up   here —   ’}

goodglrlwrath:

                         ^{fingers that are not her own trail upwards;  dancing along her skin,  leaving a little path of sparks as they travel higher & higher —–     ‘ yes. ‘     emma nods,  slowly but surely;  soaking in the moment,  storing this moment away for safe keeping / the way audrey’s fingers feel against her bare form.  because it’s rare that she feels this good – this beautiful;  wanted.  no one has ever made her feel the way audrey does.  & that’s special.  SHE’S special.}

                         ^{a little hum of satisfaction  ( or maybe more like a purr )  escapes her,  betraying her;  spilling from parted lips.  it’s embarrassing;  the sound.  it’s a sign of just how strong audrey’s hold on her is;  just how much she needs her.     ‘ i want to. ‘}     

_{fingers · are · still · exploring, · NOT · TOO-HIGH, · waiting · for · emma · to · give · her · the · go-ahead ·· — ·· and · even · when · she · breathes · permission, · palms, · are, · sweaty, · hesitant,, · not, · too-sure, · what, · to, · do, · with, · them, · herself. · ( · not · when · emma · deserved · everything, · deserved · to · have   someone   tell   and   show   her   how   beautiful   she   was   //   it   draws   a   thick,   heavy   swallow   out   of   her,   trying   to   concentrate.   ‘   me   too,   em    —    ‘    she   finally   finds   her   voice,   fingers   swiping   over   soft   skin,   thumbs   could   just-barely   make   out   the   curve   of   her   breasts   if   she   extended   her   fingers   far   enough,   but   she   doesn’t   push,   wants   to   take   this   slow    —    has   thought   about   what   this   might   be   like   for   too-long,   since   she   first   realized   that   she   had   feelings   for   emma   that   extended   beyond   just   friendship,   when   emma’s   betrayal   in   favor   of   nina   patterson   hurt   a   lot   worse   than   just   losing   a   friend.}

  _{‘    god,   you   have   no   idea…    ‘    voice   is   a   mumble,   heavy   with   appreciation   and   a   burning   want,   something   twisting   heavy   in   her   stomach   &   she   inhales   sharply   at   the   sound   that   escapes   emma’s   mouth    —    it   catches   her   off   guard,   but   it   drives   her   forward,   and   she   leans   up.   there’s   a   pause   before   they   kiss,   and   she   doesn’t   say   anything   but   the   silent   gesture   is   clear    —    we   can   stop   if   you   want   to    —    before   emma’s   lips   are   captured   with   her   own.   at   first   the   kiss   is   slow,   hesitant,   careful    —    wanting   emma   to   get   a   feel   of   whether   or   not   she   liked   it,   but   then   there’s   more   confidence   that   pushes   her   to   kiss   deeper,   fingers   to   explore   higher   and   she   takes   a   step   forward,   the   kiss   is   deep   and   it’s   only   when   her   foot   catches   on   remaining   fabric   on   the   floor   that   she   pulls   away,   breathy   and   embarrassed   as   she   glances   down.   ’    uh,   your   bra   —    ’    is   all   she   can   manage,   using   the   opportunity   to   take   in   a   heavy   breath,   an   awkward   laugh   escaping   in   a   low   tone   on   exhale.}

goodglrlwrath:

                         ^{she’s caught on now,  knows that THIS,  this situation – has audrey feeling anxious     ( in a good way,  she hopes. )    her cheeks flush,  pale skin turning ruby red as she turns to look at her silhouette in the mirror.  suggestive,  she can see that now;  the hint of skin peaking;  a tease of sorts;  as if her skin is begging to be touched.  & it is.  she just didn’t realize it until now.}

                         ^{locking her eyes on audrey’s reflection,  she watches as she approaches her,  bra in hand.  emma immediately sucks in a breath,  her stomach twisting;  growing warm;  her entire being tingling in anticipation.     ‘ shhh … ‘     reaching from behind,  lithe digits wrap around the other’s wrists & pull her gently forward before fully bringing her in;  having audrey’s arms around her waist.     ‘ you don’t have to apologize,  okay ? ‘     emma continues to stare,  the sight of audrey’s arms around her leaving her nearly breathless.     ‘ i feel it,  too. ‘  the tension;  the DESIRE.  it’s overwhelming;  consuming her;  bringing her under.     ‘ i .. feel it too. ‘     her hands position audrey’s right on top of the little peak of skin.  it’s electric;  lightening bolts shooting through her limbs as lids grow heavy,  arms dropping;  awaiting audrey’s reaction.  ( will she continue to hold her waist ?  touching her stomach ? )}

_{all   she   can}   BREATHE   IN   _{is   emma   and   it’s   too-warm   and   already   getting   increasingly   hard   to   focus   when   the   girl   pulls   her   forward.   she   momentarily   freezes   up    —    doesn’t   want   to   push   things   too   far.   but   her   arms   are   finally   around   emma’s   waist   and   it   feels   right,   comfortable,   and   the   bra   falls   to   the   floor   forgotten   about   in   a   pile   behind   her.   she   can   feel   the   warmth   of   exposed   skin   underneath   her   fingertips.   her   thumbs   draw   slow   circles   on   skin,   getting   a   feel   for   the   way   she   might   react.}

_{‘    are   —   you   sure   about   this,   em?    ‘    she   has   to   make   sure,   would   never   forgive   herself   if   she   didn’t,   and   her   voice   is   heavy   and   wanting   but   her   concern   for   emma   is   still   apparent   ;   always   is.   her   eyes   had   become   drawn   to   where   emma’s   waist   curved,   where   her   hands   still   hold   the   girl   close,   but   she   swallows   thickly   and   she   looks   back   up.   there’s   something   intimate,   dangerous   about   the   look   on   emma’s   face,   about   the   way   her   eyelids   droop   and   her   cheeks   are   flushed   that   drives   want   deep   within   her.   hands   have   subconsciously   drifted   further   up,   fingers   ghosting   over   skin   higher,   dangerously   close   to   the   curve   of   her   breasts   but   she   stops   herself,   forces   herself   to   focus.    ‘    we   don’t   have   to   do   anything   you’re   not   comfortable   with,   okay?    —}    TOTALLY   UP   TO   YOU_{.    ‘}

goodglrlwrath:

                         ^{her fingers freeze,  lips curling upwards as she turns around to face audrey.     ‘ i said .. ‘     there’s a pause,  fingers crawling up her neck to play with her messy ponytail,  pulling;  tightening – all while her shirt hangs loosely along her frame;  exposing her torso & barely covering her breasts.     ‘ you should wear crop tops more often. ‘     a lie.  she hadn’t said that.  but it’s true.  audrey should DEFINITELY wear more crop tops.}

                         ^{she shimmies out of her jeans then,  stepping out each pant leg as they hit the floor;  leaving her bare,  milky white skin exposed.     ‘ what has you so tongue tied ? ‘     emma isn’t shy with her body,  never has been.     so,  it doesn’t really occur to her that it could be HER making audrey feel .. speechless;  distracted.     ‘ oh .. shoot .. ‘     emma looks down,  then to audrey’s dresser.     ‘ could you hand me my sports bra ? ‘}

_‘    WHAT?    _{no    —    i’m   not,   i   was   just   —    ‘   admiring   the   view,   technically,   but   that   wasn’t   something   she’d   just   say    —    didn’t   want   to   scare   emma   off   when   they   were   finally   so   close.    ’    whatever,   it   doesn’t   matter    —    ’    tone   is   muffled,   distracted   by   other   things,   and   she   toys   with   her   phone   in   her   hands   until   emma   provides   a   change   of   conversation}   &   _{she   takes   to   it,   clearing   her   throat   as   she   jumped   to   her   feet.    ’    but   yeah    —    sure   thing,    —    ’    heart   pounds   still   as   she   makes   her   way   to   the   dresser}   &   _{grabs   the   handful   of   fabric   and   stands   there   a   moment   too   long   before   gathering   the   necessary   courage,   pounding   heart   /   sweaty   palms   and   all   (    and   god,   only   emma   could   manage   to   make   her   feel   so   ridiculous   and   nervous   all   at   the   same   time    ).} 

_{curiosity   gets   the   better   of   her   and   suddenly   they’re   close.   she   wasn’t   sure   if   emma   had   even   thought   about   it,   if   a   part   of   her   had   done   it   on   purpose,   but   her   words   are   caught   in   her   throat}   &   _{there’s   a   brimming   but   not   unfamiliar   heat   that   causes   her   stomach   to   tighten.    ‘    wow,    ’    it’s   breathed   out,   more   of   an   impulse   than   anything   else,   and   fingers   curl   around   the   warmth   of   the   fabric   as   she   waits   for   emma   to   take   it   or   do   something,   anything.    ’    sorry, emma    —    it’s   just,    ’    a   short,   muffled   laugh   draws   from   the   back   of   her   throat,   and   it’s   awkward   and   full   of   nerves   and   the   worry   of   immensely   screwing   things   up.    ’}    WOW.    _’